Hey special needs fams, I have been trying to live in the here and now with Joy, with grace despite exhaustion… to trade Bitter for Joy,…
Ok Medicaid cuts pending, doom gloom, recent hospital stays for ridiculousness with this dang J tube, comparing our lives to “normal families,” … and bitterness can snake its way in just as sneaky as Satan.
This morning, our pastor gave a part of the sermon series on the book of Ruth. You know, Ruth, the book of the Bible that starts out really dark and tragic and ends romantically helplessly lovely with a wealthy landowner marrying this poor girl from another country who was outcast, hopeless, and alone (except with her also outcast, hopeless and alone mother-in-law Naomi who changed her name to Bitter). Cue Hallmark movie.
Ruth was poor with her husband having recently died and she was desperate. (Hello every desperate special needs mama.) And, this man, Boaz, marries her, takes away her shame and, ultimately, this unlikely pair are like — great-great-great-great-grandparents to the Man Himself, Jesus.
The whole book is a beautiful story of love and family ties and how God saves an “outsider” with nothing; both nothing to own, and nothing to offer. But, it’s also a taste of the future. It’s God’s beautiful literary “genius-ness” as author Kat Armstrong would put it. It is a story showing us that this marriage saved a poor girl who, without a husband, in a foreign land was left with no money, no income, and no family – no security, no hope, no rest… and this story is also a picture of us and of Jesus.
Jesus is our Redeemer, the perfect Groom, flawless, always loving, always a listening ear, and never leaving dirty laundry in the floor or snoring so loud you can’t sleep; in fact, Jesus says he comes to give us rest, security, hope, peace, and eternal wealth. He takes our longings and answers them all. And, like Ruth in this story at the end of Chapter 3, we are waiting for our wedding day.
Remember that engagement period?* You have the security of the ring promising marriage, the excitement (and exhaustion) of wedding plans, apartment hunting, and if you are me, thinking about your new family’s first animal? So Naomi (Bitter) and Ruth her outcast daughter could go from hopeless and bitter to hopeful and joyful and have the ability to rest. That’s the same for me and you, especially Special Needs Families. So bye bye Bitter and hello Joy.
That’s the sweet spot we live in as we await Jesus’s return, or our home-coming. We know we have this beautiful wedding and forever-life with Jesus just waiting for us, and we can live life here planning for that new life, that beautiful marriage. That’s why the Bible calls Jesus the Bride-Groom. The Groom is waiting, and has already paid the price for you. You married up for sure. Because, let’s be real, you didn’t give anything (if you’re like me, you’re probably too losing it just managing life with a special needs child, neurotypical wild ones and a full time job), so ya, you didn’t and you couldn’t give anything. Jesus says our works are like… something akin to used tampons.
And, that’s pretty gross.
Anyway, as a special needs momma; sinful, sharp, exhausted, and chasing my kid around with a suction bulb through church this morning, all I could think was, marrying Jesus; Dang, I married up. He is so out of my league.
And while all of us should wait joyfully for the return of our King or the moment we go to this Homecoming; we special parents wait in this mix of both EXCITEMENT and ACHING for Heaven. We are dealing with repercussions of a broken world just about 100% of our life on this earth from seizures to therapies to suctioning to AFOs. Even in the night, we sleep with, as I joke, but not really that much of a joke, one eye and one ear open.
Do not call me Naomi, call me Mara, for the Lord has dealt very bitterly with me.
Ruth 1:20
I like the story of Ruth because it gives us permission to hope in the Groom that is telling His church, the Beautiful Bride, “I am going to redeem you, I am going to heal you – you were worthless (and you might still feel that way, leading to bitterness, shame or sorrow), but because of me you are worthy.” It’s normal to feel bitter when life keeps throwing you super-fast-speedy-curve-balls that hit you smack dab in the face when you weren’t even to home plate yet, and didn’t even have a helmet on or your bat ready. But we can keep battling to trade bitter for Joy because of the peace of Christ.
As surely as the Lord lives, I will redeem you. BOAZ in Ruth 3:13
In him (Jesus) we have redemption, through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace. Ephesians 1:7
For more on the story, read the book of Ruth, it’s 4 simple chapters of sweet love in the bigger story of the Israelites and their famine and failures following God’s commands.
Listen to full sermon from Pastor Johnathan Price at Friendship Baptist Church Podcast, also concepts from NLT study Bible, the beautiful book Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers (an all time favorite), and 2 favorite special needs authors Nancy Guthrie and Sandra Peoples. There are truths about waiting, hurting and calling to God in lament (crying in a Holy way to God because sadness is not sin) from the book Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy Book by Mark Vroegop that God’s pressed into my soul. I also mention Kat Armstrong, she’s a story-line Bible study author who I currently am, through God’s grace, learning so much from.
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